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FROM POLAND TO PARIS

23 September 1884

I finished high school at the age of fifteen with very high marks. I took a year off to rest in the countryside because the exhaustion of study and growth was just too much. Afterwards, I returned to Warsaw, hoping that I could teach in one of the free schools. But I had to change my decision because of our family’s situation. My father was now old and needed rest; he didn’t have a lot of money. So, me and my younger sister, Bronya made a pact to make sure that we could in study in good schools. I would work as a private tutor to earn money and pay for Bronya’s school expenses and she would do the same for me whenever she could. I taught wealthy children for about two years but I realized that I wasn’t saving money efficiently enough. So, today I am leaving my father’s home at the young age of seventeen to be a well-paid governess. My heart is heavy as I climb into the railway car. In a few hours, I will be away from the ones I love. After the railway journey, I will drive for five hours longer which will only take me further away from my home and family. I am sitting close to the car window, looking across the wide plains questioning what is waiting for me. What will I experience? Am I going to be happy?

1 September 1886

I have been working in the rural town of Szczuki as a governess for two years now. My students are the children of an agriculturist who runs a beet-sugar factory here. I’m grateful for this and my employer for giving it to me as it allows me to earn money to help Bronya. My employer even lets me teach the illiterate children of their peasant workers and told his oldest daughter to help me educate the children even though he knew this innocent act was enough to outrage the czarist authorities. I used to be very happy to be working here because I got to help my sister and the poor children however, I made a very big mistake. I fell in love with my employer’s oldest son. His name is Kazmierz. Thankfully, our feelings are mutual. He loves me too. He asked me to marry him a few weeks ago, we got engaged. We were both very happy. But Kazmierz’s parents weren’t. They didn’t want their son to marry a penniless girl like me. We were both expecting a reaction like this but we were hoping that we could persuade them. Things didn’t go as planned. They kept pushing us to break of our engagement and today we bowed down to their wishes. I am sad however, I am not devastated as I know this won’t affect our romantic relationship with Kazmierz. The thing that is bothering me is the fact that I am under the same roof with a family that clearly doesn’t welcome me as one of their own. But I know I will have to stay here in order to help Bronya.

27 December 1891

I enrolled at the Sorbonne in fall 1891 in Paris when I had enough money. At first, I lived in Bronya’s home. She had married a Polish patriot named Casimir Dluski whom she met in medical school. However, their home was an hour away with a horse-drawn bus from my university; I was losing time and wasting money on carfare. So, I moved out from there and moved in a small house in the Latin Quarters. Most of the students live there and it is very close to my university. I have been living here for a few months now. I have basic living arrangements. My house is freezing in the winter time even though it is small. I have to wear every piece of clothing I own to stay warm. I sometimes faint from hunger because I become too absorbed in my studies. Bronya comes here to help me from time to time. I might not be living a luxurious or even comfortable life, but I am very happy with my decision of moving here. Living alone enables me to focus on my studies. I finally feel like I am doing the thing I want. Working makes me feel peaceful.